just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
