if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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