maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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