When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
