I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
