I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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