dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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