im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
