I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
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