I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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