in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
