xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Randomize
