saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
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