It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
i was born a porn star she said
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
