I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
