I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
