I hate all girls vehemently.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize