We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Randomize
