Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
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