Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
