I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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