I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
