called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
