normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
