We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
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