You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Blow job season was short but glorious.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
My bed smells like the plague
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
