if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
