who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Randomize
