I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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