I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Oh god it's open bar.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
