at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
