My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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