At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
