Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
