Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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