yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Randomize
