I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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