I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
