How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Randomize
