Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
