i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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