Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
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