I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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