What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
