Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
