Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Randomize
