Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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