If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
