I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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