you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
