My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
