Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Randomize
