So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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