I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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